The Very Awkward Underground

Personnel: Tom
Location: Bakerloo Line, London Underground
Type of Recliner:  Carriage 3
Reason for Lounge: Near death experiences
Relative Comfort Rating: 2/5

Upon arrival in a stuffy Bakerloo line train earlier today I took a seat and started chatting with a friendly looking chap to my left reading a book that I had just finished. There was one spare seat between us. At the next station the carriage volume grew to the tune of two rather ridiculously rotund older women who bear down on us. The first sits between me and my new chum and the other goes to sit in the only other vacant seat, directly opposite us. My man, displaying a very uncharacteristic sense of hospitality for a Londoner, says “please, come and sit here, so you can sit together!”. She protests a little, but eventually rears herself up and I bounce a good 6 inches into the air as she plonks her full weight down next to me.

The two women proceed to sit in silence, that is until the next stop when one, without a word, rises and makes a lumbering departure. The other remains.

They were not together.

Awkward does not even begin to describe the atmosphere before i reached my stop and scurried away.