Printer Problems

Personnel: Tom
Location: Tom’s Office
Type of Recliner:  Black Swivel Chair
Reason for Lounge: Irritation
Relative Comfort Rating: 4/5

Following the cat incident, i’ve discovered more breaking news! The AI revolution is upon us! And the front line offensive is my damn printer and its goal is to slowly drive me insane!

How is it that every other form of technology has developed so far yet it is a miracle if i can make a small amount of ink transfer on to a piece of A4! Is this too much to ask?

It starts by initially coming with a disc including an out of date driver and then slowly but surely filling up your hard drive with new drivers, each and every time you re-connect it. Then there’s the print quality, which generally ranges from ‘barely readable’, passing swiftly through ‘would be readable if it didn’t have the massive smudges across it’ to ‘worse than a new born child writing in it’s own blood’.

I also believe that the error messages (that occur so regularly) must be some form of code; probably saying something insulting about my mother; and the little thing that pops up telling you how much ink is left is definitively based on some kind of random generation code.

You’d get a better paper to ink ratio with a cheap rubbish biro than you would with a new printer cartridge; and i’m sure a hamster in a microwave would survive longer than a brand new printer cartridge.

An infinite number of monkeys [etc etc] would make a better job at recreating my next printed proposal and they would make a less disturbing sound.